The Quiet Ones

“Oh, it’s those quiet ones you have to watch. They’re sneaky.” I hated when people told my mother that in regard to me when I was a child. I was indeed a quiet one, but I wasn’t secretly bad. My mother’s advice to me as I became an adult was, “It’s the quiet woman minding her own business that gets the men’s attentions.” Well said, Mommy. Well said.

I have quite a few guy friends, and the overall general consensus is that my mother was correct. Most men prefer women that are not too loud or trying hard to be seen. According to the men whose brains I picked, they enjoy the company of women that are mild mannered, won’t embarrass them in public, and know how to keep it lady-like and classy even whilst engaging in libations.

The thing is, quietness lends an air of mystery and intrigue. When you aren’t an open book people don’t know how to take you, so they tread lightly. Ever notice how loud people are rarely if ever deemed mysterious? Their triggers are easily figured out, and thus, they are mastered by others. When you are calm and seemingly aloof, you remain in control and most events move in your timing, at your bidding. Most men don’t mind this, and since they are hunters by nature they don’t mind putting in the work it takes to get to know you. The slow reveal will keep most of their attentions longer than those of fast reveals.

So just what is it about the quiet woman that attracts men like moths to flames? Well, for starters she is indeed a rarity. In this age of media over sharing and the general population’s need to know everything about everybody it’s rare you come across a woman that keeps her business, well…her business. That alone seats her head and shoulders above the vast majority. Along with this air of mystery and under sharing comes an air of confidence and self assurance. She isn’t posting lewd photos for ‘likes’ or letting the world in on her every emotional state because she doesn’t need the validation. She can very well validate herself. To men, that is sexy in and of itself, and it also puts them at ease because they know they won’t have to constantly cater to a woman’s low self esteem and drooping ego. 

There is a quote I once read that makes me smile every time I think about it. It isn’t a quote about a quiet woman; rather it is about a nerd. I like to think the two go hand in hand, or at least they are perceived to be one in the same. The quote reads: Generally, the nerd has plenty of time to spend by him or herself, and this can lead to becoming one of two people: One who performs shirtless electric guitar solos on his dorm balcony-played through a Peavey practice amp- as a crowd of onlookers wonder why he's drinking hard lemonade; or one who becomes widely versed in the French language, thus rendering him or her a talented, bilingual master of passion. In my humble opinion, both are tremendously cool. -Kate Williams, of NYLON magazine.

The quiet woman is much like this. Once you get to know her most times you are left in awe and astonishment as you peel back layer after layer of what initially may have come across as a plain bland personality. Do you know how many quiet women blow the minds of the men that take the time to pursue them by simply being themselves and not giving all that they are away during the first conversation? I like to think this is a gift that couples as an intriguing allure, and what woman doesn’t want to be thought of as intriguing? 

My mother is indeed a wise woman, and I am the wisdom of her. Are you hungry for more? Just stick around.

Wishing you a bubbly and sweet life ;-)

-Queen