I am a firm believer of working for what you want out of
life and not accepting substitutes and settling for less unless you absolutely
must. There is much power in being a go-getter and seeing the fruits of your
labor. What exactly is a go-getter? Merriam-Webster defines it as: a person who
works very hard and who wants very much to succeed; an aggressively
enterprising person. The online
dictionary defines it as: an enterprising, aggressive person. It also defines it as: an ambitious enterprising person. I like to think I fit these descriptions, so I
would like to teach you a little of what I know about laying the foundation to
living a sweet and bubbly life of go-getting.
The first thing I suggest is defining what it is you want no
matter how great or small. I’ll use myself as an example. As many know, when I divorced
my husband I was left with absolutely nothing, not so much as a bed for my two
children. I had very little clothing and shoes, and the same went for my
children. I would say we had about fifteen outfits and seven pairs of shoes
between the three of us. I moved in with my parents for about a week until my
apartment was ready. When we moved in we had no furniture other than a twin
sized bed for my oldest son and a playpen for my youngest to sleep in. On the
weekends they stayed with their father I worked overtime at the office. After about
two months we had a fully stocked kitchen with a very nice dinette set, a sofa,
and a love seat, and my aunt donated us a television. I used some of the monies
I received from my income tax refund as a down payment for a car, which brings
me to settling.
When I left I had no car, and my credit was shot to hell,
which meant I had to start all the way over. The only reasonable car I would
leave that lot in was a Toyota Camry that was about seven years old with over
one hundred thousand miles on it. My plan was to only keep it one year and
trade it in for an upgrade, and I also knew my father would be able to do
maintenance on it should it be required. Long story somewhat shortened, I went from
a Camry, to an Altima, to a BMW 328is, and now a Mercedes Benz GLK. I am not
bragging, and I am not driving my dream car yet, but I am getting there because
I refuse to settle in life, even on something as small as what I drive. My children’s and my wardrobes are also pretty nice now. By the beginning of next year we
will also be in our own house.
My second suggestion after defining what it is you want is
to come up with various routes/options to get there. I am a strategist and a
thinker. There is more than one way to skin a cat. If things don’t work out the
way you initially intended don’t lose heart. Just go back to the drawing board
or on to Plan B, C, D, or however many it takes to get there, but do NOT take
no as an answer, and do NOT let anyone piss on your parade, not even yourself.
If you fail the first time, take a day or two to lick your wounds and get back
at it. You will thank yourself in the end. That brings us to my next
suggestion.Exhaust all your resources. I learned the hard way that it is okay to ask for help, and it is okay to ask questions in general. I am sure I annoy many people with all the questions I ask, but I ask anyway in addition to doing my own research. Become knowledgeable about what it is you are going after and seeking for. Ask. Ask. ASK!!! Talk to people in general. You may just happen to luck yourself into a conversation with a person that has exactly what you need. I do not, however, suggest you going around talking to people solely to find out if they can be beneficial to you. That can quickly thrust you into the opportunist category. I don’t know many people that like to be around or keep the company of people that only want to exploit them and what they may have to offer. Be sincere and genuine when dealing with people. It can take you far, and people are more apt to help and be of assistance to you. That being said, I also am not above using charm to get what I want. A little sweetness and demure demeanor can help get your foot in the door, but never let that drive you all the way. Inside that demure package is a boss on a mission but also a woman all about building authentic relationships along the way.
Then bask in your accomplishments and revel in the beauty of
being a woman. Live richly in that. Repeat the process all over again when you
get a new goal. Don’t get stale. Become all that you are capable of becoming.
Be a self actualized woman. Have fun, learn about yourself, explore your
thoughts, listen to your gut, and just live.
I would like to leave you with an article I found online.
You can find the entire article here.
Characteristics of Self-Actualized People
v Acceptance
and Realism: Self-actualized people have realistic perceptions of themselves, others
and the world around them.
v
Problem-centering: Self-actualized individuals are concerned with
solving problems outside of themselves, including helping others and finding
solutions to problems in the external world. These people are often motivated
by a sense of personal responsibility and ethics.
v
Spontaneity: Self-actualized people are spontaneous in their
internal thoughts and outward behavior. While they can conform to rules and
social expectations, they also tend to be open and unconventional.
v
Autonomy and Solitude: Another characteristic of self-actualized people
is the need for independence and privacy. While they enjoy the company of
others, these individuals need time to focus on developing their own individual
potential.
v
Continued Freshness of Appreciation: Self-actualized people tend to
view the world with a continual sense of appreciation, wonder and awe. Even
simple experiences continue to be a source of inspiration and pleasure.
v
Peak Experiences: Individuals who are self-actualized often have
what Maslow termed peak experiences, or moments of intense joy, wonder,
awe and ecstasy. After these experiences, people feel inspired, strengthened,
renewed or transformed.
